Alisha Bhahi
This amused me more. My smile got bigger. Classes went on and on, and now I was looking at my study partner in my room. She flipped a page in her thick hardcover book, mulling over the literature of the 1800's. I reached behind my stereo to pull out a cassette, and inserted it into the machine. Pressing "Play", I knew the music would disturb her and knew also that was why I was doing it. I wanted to talk. As the first notes started up, she looked up from reading questioningly. I smiled and asked "Do you mind taking a study break for a few minutes? My notes are starting to look like secret code." "No, no I don't mind at all. You have any soda left? My throat is killing me from that cigarette." "Yeah, coke or ginger ale. Which do you like?" I bent to open the fridge, waiting for her reply. "Ginger ale." I picked out the plastic bottle and poured some into a mug. The foam crept over the side, I dipped my finger to it and wiped it off, and absentmindedly sucked the liquid off my finger.. A dent. Enough to throw things off course.He rinses. Spits. Rinses. Spits. He leaves the bathroom light on, enters the bedroom, naked but for his boxers but then thankfully he turns, heads back and flicks the light off. The mattress dips as he drops down next to me.“I know you’re awake.”He doesn’t sound drunk. My back is towards him. Pre-planned, of course. If he were to flick on the lamp, I daren’t risk trying to maintain a sleeping face. But he doesn’t turn on the lamp.“I’m sorry,” he says. His body moves closer to mine. I know he’ll be warm. His hand rests in the curve of my waist. It fits there so perfectly. My eyes are open but he doesn’t know.“C’mon, baby. Give me something, huh?”No. Resist. No. I can’t. I should have conditions, should’ve thought it through. All the things, all the terms. You have to save money. You have to be tidy. You have to not fight with my family. You have to tell me if you’ll be home for dinner. You have to be fucking perfect, damn it.His fingers go.
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